I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
