I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
