SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
