i love accidental penises.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
