This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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