Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
you had me at cake vodka
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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