her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
