i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
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and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize