So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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