these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
