why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
