cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
