why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Send help, water and tortillas.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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