Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
