if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize