Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
