Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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