I want to walk on stilts...naked
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
