I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
