Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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