Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
You can't special order awesome
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
