I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
