Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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