**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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