Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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