i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
