im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize