I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
