we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Never underestimate the power of titties
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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