My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
