There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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