he thought i was a dude.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize