didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
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I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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