Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
