He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I checked into jail on foursquare
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
