i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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