I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
cat food counts as protein by the way
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
