What a fucking waste of an outfit
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
