I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
