life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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