and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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