he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
