I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
