Barsexuality is the new black.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
