she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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