ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
