i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Randomize
