I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
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