i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
