college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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