Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
