You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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