First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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