His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
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I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
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Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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