I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
NoShamevember. You game?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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