I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
