I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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