i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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