Kareoke will never be a sober sport
pop tarts are not kleenex
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
